I’ve been on a health kick lately.
Tracking calories with brutal honesty.
Here’s what blows my mind every time: I can demolish 1,000 calories in minutes without thinking, then I’ll go for a walk and burn… 300 calories.
In an entire hour.
That’s when it clicked:
I could walk for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT, OR I could just not raid the pantry at midnight.
Life follows this same pattern.
The “more” equation is fundamentally broken.
We’re taught:
MORE = MORE HAPPINESS
More productivity.
More awards.
More followers.
More stuff.
But I’ve been learning something the hard way: that equation is fundamentally broken.
And flipping it today will change everything for you.
HERE’S WHAT’S COMING UP
- Why I burned my 7-figure “empire” to the ground
- The 3-foot drowning paradox keeping you stuck
- How a black turtleneck built a trillion-dollar company
- The Costco effect (why your life’s cart is overflowing)
- This Week’s Challenge: Find peace with one simple subtraction
First time here? — Welcome to Refusing to Settle! Where life-changing frameworks and uncomfortable truths collide to build the 2.0 You.
The Day Everything Clicked
Let me tell you about the most expensive lesson I ever learned—and why I’m actually grateful for it.
In 2023, I fell into the trap.
Burning six figures on travel, coaches, and masterminds.
Everywhere I looked, entrepreneurs were drinking the same Kool-Aid:
“10X everything!”
“Build your empire!”
An empire of what? Slack notifications? Zoom fatigue? lol
Here’s what my “empire” actually looked like: 15 faces on a screen every Monday morning. My team.
While someone presented our Q3 projections (riveting stuff), I had this moment of clarity. This wasn’t the dream. This was corporate America with better branding.
And don’t get me wrong, I loved most the people I worked with.
But the pressure started to build.
To where I somehow juggled myself into four jobs:
- Creating content for 1M+ people
- Team manager
- Coach to clients
- Chasing the next “big thing”
Then came the gut punch. A toxic business partnership I’d rushed into—because “EMPIRE, BABY!“—imploded spectacularly.
It created a huge mess and I lost over $100K. Poof. Like it never existed.
My health took a nosedive.
Workouts? What workouts? Meal prep? Please, I had Uber Eats on demand. Relationships started to break (wonder what the divorce rate among entrepreneurs is?)
That’s when the lightbulb went off:
I wanted a better business, not a bigger one.
So I did what any sane person would do—I set fire to everything. (Metaphorically, of course. Mostly.)
Downsized the team.
Stopped chasing every shiny opportunity.
Started saying “no” like my life depended on it.
Because it did.
For the first time ever, I actually lost money month after month.
My “empire”? Lookin like a lemonade stand at this point.
And you know what happened?
I started breathing again.
I rediscovered why I started creating in the first place. Made videos because they were fun, not because the algorithm demanded sacrifices.
Got engaged (turns out having free time helps with relationships—who knew?).
Started seeing the 10-year vision instead of the next 10 weeks.
What I learned is that sometimes you have to burn down the empire to find the kingdom.
This is the truth that’ll set you free (and probably save you five figures in therapy).
What follows is how you break free from the trap of more and build something worth having.
The Subtraction Breakthrough
I heard a parable about a man drowning in 3 feet of water because he’s flailing too hard to notice he could just… stand up.
Yeah, that was me chasing “more.”
Probably you too, if we’re being honest.
But here’s the thing—you’re not broken for doing this. Our brains are literally wired for hoarding. Cave-person DNA screaming “GATHER ALL THE THINGS!” Scarcity was the enemy.
But the world is different now. We live in ridiculous abundance:
- Amazon delivers mangoes in January.
- Netflix has more shows than human lifespans.
The problem isn’t finding opportunities—it’s drowning in 3 feet of water of them.
Ever walk into Costco for “just eggs”?
Next thing you know, you’re pushing a cart with an industrial mayo, and a stand-up paddle board that was “such a good deal.” (Don’t lie—we’ve all been there.)
I see people get trapped in what I call the “self-improvement check-off game” all the time.
Collecting habits to check on a to-do list thinking that’s the secret to success.
☑️ Cold showers
☑️ Notion
☑️ Wake up at 5AM
☑️ Lion’s mane coffee
Then some guru drops his 3-hour morning routine and what do you know… MORE boxes!
Like, dude — if you had an extra 3 hours daily, you’d crush your goals regardless.
Remember when the minimalism movement exploded 10 years ago?
It’s extreme, sure. But they were onto something: Your stuff starts owning you after a while.
And not just physical stuff. Goals, beliefs, habits, etc.
Speaking of extreme—Steve Jobs. Dude wore the same outfit for decades. People thought he was nuts. I read his 600-page biography (yes, all of it), and you know what line stuck?
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
Jobs wasn’t just quirky. He was ruthless about cutting anything non-essential. His black turtleneck? Mental bandwidth saver.
His minimalist philosophy built the first trillion-dollar company ever.
You might be reading this on their device right now.
So here’s the trillion-dollar question:
“What can I remove that would make everything else easier?”
PLEASE Don’t just nod and scroll past.
Actually sit with this.
What can you remove?
Because here’s the plot twist—you probably don’t need to add anything to your life.
The good stuff’s already there, just buried under Amazon Prime boxes and abandoned hobbies.
The math is stupidly simple:
- Less distractions = More focus
- Less one-sided friendships = More time for real friends
- Less impulse buys = More money
- Less “yes” to everything = More “yes” for what matters
You don’t need to go full monk mode.
This is about strategic elimination.
Like cleaning your closet, but for your entire life.
Look, normally this is where I’d hit you with “5 Life-Changing Ways to Simplify Your Life” or whatever.
Actually wrote all 5 of them.
Two hours of my life. Gone.
Then I caught myself—wait, isn’t this entire newsletter about doing LESS?
[deletes everything]
Turns out I’m still learning too.
So instead of a listicle, you’re getting one stupid-simple challenge that’ll actually move the needle:
Your Challenge This Week
Pick ONE thing to subtract.
The math hasn’t changed: LESS = MORE
You don’t need another morning routine.
Another productivity hack.
Another anything.
Remember:
You can spend three hours walking off that midnight snack, or just… not eat it.
You can build an empire of Slack notifications or create something real.
You can drown in 3 feet of water, or stand up.
Your good stuff’s already there.
Just buried.
Reply and tell me what you’re cutting. I read every email.
Now go delete something.
— CK
