10 things I wish I knew a decade ago
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Hey Reader,
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: I spent most of my twenties optimizing for the wrong metrics.
Chasing approval from people I didn’t respect. Adding complexity when I needed subtraction. Avoiding the conversations that would’ve changed everything.
The shift didn’t happen overnight; it was a series of quiet realizations that completely rewired how I approached life.
So in this newsletter, I want to let you in on the 10 principles I wish someone had handed me a decade ago.
Some might sting a little.
But that’s usually how you know they’re working.
1. Happiness is subtraction, not addition.
We’re wired to think happiness comes from adding more.
More habits.
More money.
More friends.
More… stuff.
But here’s what I learned: peace comes from less.
Less distractions. Less one-sided relationships. Less stress.
Think about it like this…
You ever hit the gym and burn 500 calories on that stair stepper? Then you go home, look at a food label, and realize you could skip those 500 calories instead of burning them.
Same thing in life. Instead of adding your way to happiness, start subtracting what’s weighing you down.
Ask yourself: What’s draining me right now?
That’s not negative thinking, that’s a breakthrough question. Because if you cut out what’s sucking your energy away, you get more energy.
Remember: sometimes you don’t need more. You just need less of what’s in the way.
2. The people you’re trying to impress won’t be at your funeral
A lot of times, this ‘impressive’ act gets in the way of genuine connection.
Like you go on a date— if you’re honest with yourself, how much of the time are you thinking “do they like me?” How many times do you think “do I like them?”
What if that’s your intention?
It doesn’t mean you’re a jerk or it’s one-sided, but really, when you do this, it opens you up to not look impressive but to focus on genuine connection.
And that’s really where all your relationships improve. When you drop the need to look impressive.
So just try that this week.
Take what you will from this, but that’s something I wish I knew sooner: the people you’re trying to impress really won’t be at your funeral.
3. Mastering your mornings is life’s cheat code
I’m not talking about ice baths and 5 AM runs here.
Before I made a dime online, I built one habit that changed everything:
First thing in the morning, I’d get up, brew a big pot of coffee, and do the hardest thing that would make the biggest impact.
Writing. Filming. Learning. Building.
Still to this day, most of the videos you watch on my channel are filmed before 6 AM.
Want to change your life?
Ask yourself: “What’s my ONE thing?”
Then tomorrow morning, focus on doing it the first two hours of the day. If you dedicate two hours to that thing every morning for an entire year, it’s impossible for you NOT to make progress.
4. Momentum > Motivation
Most people sit around waiting to feel ready.
They want to see the whole plan of how something will work out before they start.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Life is a lot like driving at night. Your headlights only shine 50 feet in front of you, but the next 50 feet reveal themselves, then the next 50, and you get to your destination no matter what the conditions are.
So many times we say “I can’t see where this is going,” instead of just focusing on the next 50 feet.
I posted drum covers back in the day and had no clue they would eventually lead to me touring the world professionally, playing on Conan, and opening for people like Post Malone (crazy story).
I just took action.
What if you didn’t need motivation… what if you need momentum?
Object in motion stays in motion.
So… get movin’!
5. Nobody is thinking about you as much as you think
I saw a meme that sums this up:
At 18, you care what people think.
At 40, you stop caring what people think.
At 60, you realize no one was thinking about you in the first place.
that embarrassing thing you said?
that joke that didn’t land?
I know you’re thinking about it for days, replaying the awkward moment, but I guarantee they forgot about it in 10 minutes.
You’re the main character in your story, but everyone else is the main character in theirs.
This one’s liberating when it hits you. Stop playing life like everyone’s watching and let your freak flag fly.
6. You can’t “hack” sleep, nutrition, or exercise
I’ve learned this lesson over and over.
In college, I had every supplement you could imagine. I was drinking clay, growing my own algae, had vats of kombucha. I went crazy with health hacks.
Now in my 30s? I’m focusing on what actually works. The basics you could write on a 3×5 card: 8 hours of sleep, 10,000 steps, hydration, tracking calories.
No gadget or supplement replaces good sleep. A bad diet with expensive green juice? Still a bad diet.
Stop looking for the magic potion. Nail the basics first.
7. If you avoid hard conversations, life gets harder
Here’s the quote that stuck with me:
“Your life is determined by the amount of uncomfortable conversations you’re willing to have.”
Damn.
Asking for a raise? Uncomfortable, but that could be a $10,000-a-year conversation.
Staying in the wrong relationship versus having the “I don’t see this working out” talk? That can save you years.
Letting people walk all over you because you can’t say no? Learn to hire movers instead of helping everyone move after 30.
Most problems don’t magically go away. Like mold, they grow in the dark.
So…
what uncomfortable conversation are you putting off?
I promise your growth is on the other side.
8. The “perfect time” is a myth
You’re never going to feel ready.
I wasn’t ready to buy a one-way ticket and move to Arizona from Seattle, but I did it and it was the best decision for me.
I wasn’t ready to launch my first coaching business, but it became the most successful thing I ever built.
Dani and I weren’t ready to get our dog. We fostered him because we couldn’t commit. 48 hours later, he was sleeping in our bed, and now we couldn’t imagine life without him.
If you’re putting something off because you don’t feel ready, I guarantee if you just started, you’d find yourself ready sooner than sitting there overthinking.
Remember this:
Good beats perfect, because perfect never gets done.
9. Boredom is a superpower
Your best ideas don’t come when you’re busy, they come when you’re still.
Your ‘aha’ moment in the shower? It’s real because for once, you’re not drowning in other people’s voices.
And let’s be honest… most of what we consume in the name of “education” is just entertainment.
So here’s a fun challenge:
This week when you have a spare moment, skip the podcast, the video, the scroll. Just do nothing. Watch what thoughts come up.
Let your mind breathe.
That’s where your answers are.
This is also where keeping a journal comes in.
It’s an active form of doing this. I’ve gotten more breakthroughs from my journal than any other place.
10. Life gets better when you stop taking it so seriously
Playfulness isn’t just for kids.
When you stop taking yourself so seriously, it feels like a 50-pound backpack gets lifted off your back, like at the end of a hike when you’re left with that sweaty back thinking, “Wow, I’ve been carrying that around this whole time. No wonder I was so tired.”
Allow yourself to laugh at yourself. Give up the need to uphold some perfect image.
Remember: whoever’s having the most fun wins.
What’s your biggest takeaway? Got something you wish you knew a decade ago? Hit reply and let me know. I make an effort to read every single one.
See you next week
CK
